How To Get Started With Family Video Calls

If video calls feel intimidating or difficult, you’re not alone. I talked to a lot of older folks who feel that way. But you’ll be surprised how easy it can be when you get started.

Follow the steps in this quick setup guide to get calling with confidence.

Step #1: Get a fast internet connection

The most important thing you need for a successful video call is a good internet connection. Shop for a plan with at least 100Mbps of download speed and 25Mbps of upload speed so you have enough juice for all the devices on your home network.

Almost any fiber or cable internet plan will be good enough—go with the cheapest option available in your area. If you can get only DSL, though, consider 5G home internet or satellite from a low-Earth orbit provider like Starlink.

Step #2: Choose the right device

All the grandparents I talked to for this article use their smartphones for video calls, and it makes sense! Your phone already has your family contacts set up, and probably has a decent front-facing camera. Both Android and Apple phones work, and you don’t need the latest model.

Just make sure your device is connected to Wi-Fi, for two reasons: First, your home internet connection is probably faster and more stable than a mobile connection. Second, most home internet connections have unlimited data these days, but your mobile data can slow to a crawl if you use too much in a month. Why risk it?

Step #3: Find a stand or tripod

Next, you need a stand or tripod for your device. That way, you don’t have to worry about shaky hands or your arm getting sore during the call.

If you’re on a laptop, an inexpensive laptop stand or a stack of books will do the trick. If you’re using your smartphone, invest in an adjustable tripod you can set up on a table or wrap around a bedpost. I’ve tried a few, and the JOBY GripTight ONE GP is my favorite. It’s not the cheapest one on the market, but it’s a great option for durability and will fit almost any phone, with or without a case.

Once you have a way to hold your phone still, follow these two rules:

• Keep your camera at eye level.
• Sit far enough away that your head and shoulders are in your self-view.

Step # 4: Figure out your lighting

We’re not talking glamour shots, here, but the whole point of having a video call is to be seen. If your light source is behind you or to the side, your face will be in shadow. If it’s directly overhead, you may notice weird shadows from your nose and chin.

Instead, try to position yourself so you’re looking at a light source, or can see one at an angle.

A good ring light can do the trick (and this ring light comes with a phone stand), but they can be finicky. Instead, I recommend just setting up in front of a large window or lamp.

Step #5: Agree on a video calling app ahead of time

Figuring out the software can be one of the hardest parts of video calling, but don’t overcomplicate it. If you and the person you’re calling have Apple devices, stick to FaceTime. Here’s the icon to look for:

If you’re in a mixed-device extended family, try WhatsApp or Google Meet. There’s nothing wrong with using the video calling feature in Facebook Messenger either.

Just agree on an app ahead of time so everyone can get their apps updated and get their permissions set up correctly on their devices.

Video calling apps in the Apple Store

If you’re on an Apple device, tap below to download or open each app.

Video calling apps in the Google Play Store

If you’re on an Android device, tap below to download each app.

Video calling apps in a web browser

If you’re on a laptop or desktop computer, you can make video calls right from your browser. Chrome works best, but Microsoft Edge or Safari are also decent.

Click below to open each app in a new tab:

• Open WhatsApp
• Open Google Meet
• Open Facebook Messenger

Each site gives you the option to download the app for your operating system. If you have space on your device, it’s a good idea.

Step #6: Schedule a time

I’ll be straight with you—no one likes being called on video out of the blue. What if you’re in your underwear, or you haven’t put on your … earrings?

But in all seriousness, successful video calls are scheduled video calls. I like agreeing on a time with everyone involved via text message.

Scheduling weekly calls can also be a great idea, because then you don’t have to worry about interrupting bedtime or work meetings.

My take: The right video call setup can save you stress

Video calls are easier than ever, but you should take the time to get your setup right beforehand. That way, your calls will be more successful (and more likely to continue).

If you’ve followed all the steps in this article but still run into problems, check out my troubleshooting guide for video calls.

Just don’t be afraid to try, and be a little playful. If something doesn’t work one way, see if you can figure out another way. You are smart and resourceful, and you can do this!

FAQ about getting set up for family video calls